The shit eye story

Some years ago one of my friends got a really nasty infection in her eye lid. Me and the other girl living together with her amused ourselves by speaking in idioms that included ”eye” in one form or the other. Later on I had a reason to regret such a mean approach when I experienced the delights of infected eye lid on my vacation in Italy.

On Saturday I felt an infection approaching my eye as it started to act up in a strange way, so I ran to the nearest health center in order to obtain a batch of prescription only antibiotic eye drops. The doctor was a bit skeptic about my diagnosis. ”Are you quite sure it's an infection? Maybe you just got something in your eye?” A couple of hours later I found myself sitting in the waiting room of eye hospital's emergency room. I wanted to ask if the doctor was quite sure he was a doctor. The eye went red and swollen, resembling a rotten tomato more than anything. Personnel in the emergency room kept asking me how the eye came to be that way. Well, that's exactly the thing I wanted them to tell me. They said it was an allergic reaction to something and send me home with a new prescription for all kind of eye drops. My eye was poked, and the lid was rolled on a cotton swab. They said I was more calm during the process than the typical patient. 

Because Sydney is such a small, unimportant village on the edge of the world, I could not find an extended hours pharmacy anywhere in the midnight. Feeling totally fucked I crawled to home and went on instilling the eye drops I already got. I had asked the receptionist at the eye emergency if she knew about a 24 hours pharmacy but she just shrugged the question off as stupid. No pharmacy, go home and die.

So I waited until the pharmacy nearby opened its doors and dashed in to finally get the medicine. I had been prescribed antihistamine to calm the allergic reaction but the pharmacist told me the dose was odd. Usually the medicine was to be taken once a day, even twice a day would be an unusually high dose. My dose was three times I day. I decided against poisoning myself with antihistamine and kept to the dose suggested at the pharmacy.

This morning I went to the eye hospital for a check up. On the way there I happened to notice there was a pharmacy just opposite of the emergency room reception. So the lady sits there staring at the pharmacy every day but doesn't notice it's there. As we say in Finland, take the eye ball in your hand and take a proper look. Well, anyway I had my appointment only one hour late and asked the new doctor to prescribe more of FML eye drops.

”Did you throw away the bottle?”
”No, I ran out of the stuff.”
”How's that possible, it's supposed to last for one month?”
”I was told to instill 15 drops 4 times a day.”
”WHAT? The eye can only take one drop. There has been a misunderstanding somewhere.. it's very confusing. Well, I'll just give you a new prescription so you can buy a new bottle.”

No wonder the skin feels too tight around the eye, the steroid drops overdose probably made the facial muscles develop overnight and the right sight of my face will be permanently bigger than the left side. Once again I started wondering who you can actually trust in this world. Apparently in Australia being in the possession of a stethoscope is enough to guarantee a position as a doctor. Anyway today's doctor seemed quite reliable. He seemed an introvert kind of person, probably actually studied in the uni instead of just going to the faculty parties.

Oh yes, the most annoying thin in the Saturday night was a guy who commented on my dark glasses. ”Is the night too bright for you?” I felt like removing the sunglasses and giving him the evil eye. Why do they have to comment on everything? And even more annoyed was I by the fact that even declaring out loud I have a contagious infection in the eye did not make the new, less-wanted roommates pack their stuff and move out. If I came to a room where someone needs to be so incognito that she even sleeps wearing sunglasses and has a nagging cough that sounds like the good, old-fashioned consumption, I would have removed my person from the situation ASAP. But some people don't care.